booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Can I color on your dick again?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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