Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Randomize
