Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
