I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
