yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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