We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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