I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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