Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize