Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
last night I used snow as a chaser
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