the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
