well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
