So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
