She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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