I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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