Screwed.edu
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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