the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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