It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Randomize
