My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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