i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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