i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
