it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize