Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
