I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
