I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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