am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
a search helicopter?!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
