I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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