On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
