They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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