He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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