there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize