Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
