I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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