p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
