david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize