He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
