Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
