Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
