I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my being single is dangerous.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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