I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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