I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
