I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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