paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
