i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize