been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
