I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I look better un-naked...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
