Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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