I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
