So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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