Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize