Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
