Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
