It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize