Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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