Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
