I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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