hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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