Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
