My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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