Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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